Phillyisms
Sam Sykes ~ 12/5/2024
In all honesty, I’m not a true Philly guy. I mean, sure, culturally and geographically I’m pretty close, but I’m really just a keen observer and integrated member of the Philadelphian community. Like Hunter S. Thompson immersing himself in the Hells Angels, or Gay Talese living in a nudist colony, I have, at my own risk, integrated myself into the people of Philadelphia. I have an inside look at the foul-mouthed, booze-soaked, Eagles-loving assholes the world loves to hate and doesn’t dare understand.
That Thing
Jawn /jôn/
-Used to refer to a thing, place, person, or event that one need not or cannot give a specific name to.
A cornerstone of working class white and black Philadelphian vocabulary, “jawn” is reserved purely for specific people. Hearing a rich white kid say it, or a privileged black dude LARPing as a hood rat is one of the most cringe experiences you’ll ever have. It’s amazing, but that one word describes if you went to Eagles games and sat on the fifty-yard line as a kid, or watched your parents get shit-faced at the tailgate in K lot.
Two Sandwiches For A Whole City
Everyone in Philly knows that you can live exclusively off of Italian bread split open and filled with meat and cheese. You can’t go out for a beer with anyone in the city of brotherly love without half of the table ordering a hoagie or cheesesteak. It’s the perfect food for soaking up a belly full of booze and it can always live in a fridge half eaten. A drunk’s perfect meal.
Wawa
You can’t talk about hoagies, without mentioning wawa. If you saw a guy with a tattoo of Jason Kelce snapping a wawa hoagie during super bowl LII, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Not even a little bit. Johnny Knoxville was visiting PA a lot back in the day to visit the CKY crew, and even he was inspired to get a Wawa tattoo. It’s not that the food is good, or that they’re anything special really, it’s just a part of Philly’s culture.
Go Birds
The most obnoxious fans in sports have to be Eagles fans, even the other sports team in Philly don’t have the anarchy in their veins like football fans. The games are always packed, even when the Eagles absolutely suck and the drinking is on another level. One odd thing about the fans is their absolute loyalty to even the shittiest player on the team, but a complete reversal and hatred after a player is traded. They loved McNabb, then they hated him. Andy Reid was a two-time coach of the year, went to playoffs 9 times, coached for 14 seasons and amassed 130 wins. No other eagles coach has one even half as many games as he has… And Eagles fans fucking hate him. They love Jalen Hurts today, but rest assured when he signs with the Seahawks in 2032, everyone will forget his accomplishments and hate him.
The Delco Difference
If you’re not familiar with the Delco (Delaware County) accent, you really should stop reading this and go look it up on Youtube. Delco people are basically honorary Philadelphians, the accent immediately indicates that you’re dealing with the most fun, insane, and boozing people who are low IQ in the best way possible. Doen be a fugin’ eashole, go bierds!
Water Ice and Tomato Pie
I hate to talk about food again, but these are two anomalies I didn’t discover until I traveled as an adult. Versions of water ice are just about everywhere, but Philly has Rita's version at just about every summer event you can think of. Tomato pie is also a staple at any family gathering, party, and holiday, and I thought every kid's experience with it was the same. I took the cold, cheeseless, Sicilian pizza to a party in New Jersey a couple years ago, and it was like I brought monkey brains. Most people thought it was too gross to try, and a few others tried it with rock-bottom expectations. If you come to Philly, sure try a cheesesteak, but definitely try a slice of tomato pie.
Continue to Part Two Here
