Philadelphisms PART TWO
“Win”
Not only do Philadelphians consider Rocky Balboa to be their favorite son, but he is an icon of resilience in a blue-collar city. You’ll see T-shirts donning his triumph at the top of the stairs in front of the art museum. I know hardly any people that have been inside to admire art, but everyone that has ever been to Philly has run up the stairs at some point and gone to see the Rocky statue from Rocky III. And trust me, everyone is pissed that they moved it down the stairs and out of the way after its brief relocation to the now-destroyed Spectrum Center. Rocky is such an icon that you can’t attend any Philly sports game without the jumbotron playing clips from the movie franchise. The favorite being Rocky’s wife Adrian telling him to “Win” from her hospital bed in the second installment. Don’t ever blaspheme the Italian Stallion.
Drinking
“Determined” is the best way to describe the drinking culture in Philadelphia. I’ve been to places around the U.S. where the boozing is casual, spiraling, depressing, celebratory, or habitual, but nothing has ever matched Philly exactly. People here drink like you have their family tied up in some warehouse somewhere and you’re gonna kill them unless they crush a case of Miller Lite, ten Surfsides, and rip a few shots of tequila before throwing up on a random girl and pissing your pants. Philadelphians drink with an intensity and commitment unmatched by anywhere I’ve ever been. It’s fun like scary weather is fun. It’s cool to see, but you know shit is gonna be destroyed.
Comcast
Comcast is the stereotypical company that supports the community by sponsoring events, stadiums, and local sports teams, but really just makes everything really expensive and doesn’t hire any locals. Hated by the real Philadelphians, the Xfinity yuppies always say they’re from Philly, but it doesn’t take long to figure out they are from New York or California. It seems stupid to mention a global corporation when describing a single city’s culture, but you’d get it if you lived here. Their name is on everything.
The Curse of Billy Penn
One of the nice things about Comcast’s takeover of the city is the way they saved Philly sports. You can google it if you want all the ins and outs, but basically The statue of Pennsylvania’s founder William Penn used to watch over the city atop city hall which WAS the tallest building in Philadelphia. But in 1987, skyscrapers popped up and overtook the founder. The four major sports teams suffered abysmal seasons in the years that followed, and when Comcast built their massive skyscraper the workers topped it off with a small William Penn statue. A few months later the Phillies won the world series and the teams returned to glory. I don’t really believe in this shit, but it’s a fun story, and everyone knows it.
Can Dish It, But Can’t Take It
This is a funny one. Philly people will spend hours bashing the city, the corruption, crime, drugs, people, and the accents are often bashed in inner circles of Philadelphians. Maybe it’s Rocky or the awesome times drinking and partying, but when an outsider offers even the smallest criticisms they are shouted down and shoved out. Deep down they have immense pride about Philly no matter how drunk and stupid it may be.
