WWE is Fucking Stupid
Sam Sykes ~ 04/04/2025
Let’s start by defining “pro” wrestling. Obviously I don’t mean the honorable Greco-Roman form of wrestling often found in schools and the Olympics. There is a lot to admire about ‘Real’ wrestling, the hard work, the pureness of competition, and the dedication required make it one of the best sports. It’s a shame that when someone mentions ‘wrestling’ they automatically think of some ‘roided out dude wearing a speedo and play-fighting with other scantily-clad buff boys. I feel stupid even writing an entire article on this bullshit, but America's obsession with the WWE and wrestling culture is pervasive.
Let’s start with the obvious point, it’s fake. If you mention this to a wrestling fan they will get incredibly defensive, but will not posit any acceptable excuse. WWE is basically just a tv show that is filmed with a live studio audience. There are performers that prepare by reading lines and practicing choreography. It’s like if Game Of Thrones had a bunch of hillbillies standing outside King’s Landing and reacting to all the crazy shit going down, while holding up signs supporting different FICTIONAL characters. Good television has two staples, heroes and villains, but with WWE it seems even more pathetic. They are simulating a truly competitive event like boxing or MMA with cartoonish characters and retarded conflicts.
Over the last month I had to hear countless morons proclaim their disbelief that John Cena is now a villain after years of apparently being a good guy. I mean, it doesn’t get more low IQ than that. God knows the same outraged idiots are still going to be first in line to see Cena play another brutally cringe role in a summer blockbuster.
The fans of these comically-jacked guys keep their careers in Hollywood propped up in a big way. From Hulk Hogan, to Steve Austin, to Dave Bautista, and of course Dwayne Johnson, WWE wrestlers have used their popularity to launch incredibly lucrative acting careers. They have no range and can’t really play anything but an action star with very little dialogue or painfully unfunny dumbo. Why are they cast so much in Hollywood movies? For the redneck dollar. It can be hard to get trailer trash with no teeth to go spend 15 bucks on an opening weekend, but add in their favorite man in tights and that cash is as good as taken.
The other day I saw beer that was branded for WWE and it’s not the only product they have sponsored. In fact, you would be hard-pressed to find an industry that doesn’t have a WWE or wrestling line somewhere on the shelves. Pro wrestling may not be as bankable as real sports, but it’s not doing too shabby. In reality, for what is essentially a soap opera, it is fucking killing. I can’t imagine too many people are signing up to pay thousands of dollars to watch the filming of The Young And The Restless. It’s crazy to me that people will pay a minimum of $300 to go see a match, with some prices getting as high as $15,000 per seat.
The scariest part is how this is indicating the future of American culture. People will pay thousands and cheer with fervent passion for a FAKE sport. Can you imagine cheering during a television show or a play? I think wrestling shows just how stupid people in America can be. No wonder the government wants to control every aspect of our lives. Otherwise merit would be based on how many metal chairs you can smash over someone’s head while taking a fuck-ton of steroids. Idiocracy abounds.
