FROM THE COUCH:
Army Prepares For Notre Dame, Tuesday Night Lights, Bama Beats On Little Guys, LSU’s Fall From Eliteness, 50 Burger Lions, The Bo Nix Fan Club, Bum Ass Flyers, Joe Biden’s Boxing Debut, and more!
Mike Leitao ~ 11/20/2024
11 is the first double digit number to be a prime number, meaning it is only divisible by itself and one. It is also the first repdigit, meaning a number who is made up of repeating the same digit. 11 is also the amount of different time zones in Russia, which is kind of crazy to think about. But most importantly, it’s week 11 of From the Couch, the greatest writing series in the whole world, ever.
Army vs …
What does a man do when the thing that brings him joy disappears, even if only for a moment. He’s left to sit with his emotions and let them stew inside him, as he determines if this will be a major setback in his life, or a huge triumph. As we wait for our glorious Army to return to battle versus the mighty Notre Dame, we continue to pray that they will continue in their winning ways.
Ball State vs Buffalo:
Nothing better than some Tuesday night college football action that results in… A SCORE OF 51-48 IN OT? College football really is dumb. There’s something about a good ol’ fashioned offensive showdown between two random teams on a random weekday, it always puts a smile on my face.
Tulane vs Navy:
My beautiful Navy. What happened to you? You used to be on top of the world as undefeated potential champions. Now you have three losses to your name and no one thinks twice about you. How the mighty fall.
Clemson vs Pittsburgh:
If you asked me 3-4 weeks ago if I thought Pitt was a legitimately good team who had a chance to potentially make it to the college football playoffs, I would’ve told you yes. Fast forward a month and I’m like damn, these guys suck. That’s not really true, but they are clearly a middle of the road team in a middle of the road division, also known as perpetually mid.
Mercer vs Alabama:
Honestly, I think the once a year matchup between Alabama and a random team that has no business playing Alabama might be one of my favorite games every year. It’s never a good game, Alabama always wins by a shit ton, but the bum ass team always manages to somehow get one score, and it’s truthfully the best score of the whole year for college football. Can’t wait for Alabama vs Furman next year, final score prediction will be 56-10.
LSU vs Florida:
LSU? More like not ranked anymore U. That sucked, but that’s okay cause so does LSU. Crazy to think this team was once ranked so high and is now unranked, but glad it happened. Home matchups vs Vanderbilt and Oklahoma give them a chance at a solid 8-win season, but they could also lose them both and end up 6-6 and barely with a bowl game. Florida winning and making them unranked is great, since it still gives them the chance for a 6-6 record where all 6 loses are ranked teams and all 6 wins are unranked teams, becoming the ultimate test to determine eliteness.
Tennessee vs Georgia:
Tennessee has been historically dogwalked by Georgia in recent memory. That trend continued. A good first half for Tennessee as they kept it competitive and close, then they decided that was plenty enough of football to play and forgot to show up for the second half. Their reward is dropping out of the top 10 and giving themselves an increasingly more difficult playoff match up, if they even squeak in.
Kansas vs BYU:
Oh no BYU lost its undefeated season. Anyways no one cares, moving on.
Commanders vs Eagles:
Funny how at the start of the season Eagles fans were dreading the year and demanding the coach gets canned. Now they are the second seed in the NFC and seem very likely to stay there and hold onto the NFC East crown. It’s almost like most reactions within the first few weeks of the season are overreactions…
Packers vs Bears:
The Bears need some type of therapy with field goals. There are too many times where a blocked field goal has led to heartbreak in Chicago and it almost makes me feel bad. Then I remember I’m heartless and no longer pretend to feel bad.
Jaguars vs Lions:
Another 50-point performance within the NFL and it’s by the same team. I don’t think much else needs to be said to establish how damn good they are. Meanwhile the Jags are literal garbage and need a new head coach and about 30 other players to make the team decent at best. Fun times ahead.
Ravens vs Steelers:
A good ol’ fashioned rivalry game full of turnovers and missed field goals for the Ravens, and no touchdowns but a lot of field goals for the Steelers. As a fan of offense this game was certainly a thing that happened. But as a fantasy football owner of Boswell, I loved this game very very much.
Colts vs Jets:
Two teams with what feels like never ending sagas face off. For the Colts, it’s the on and off relationship between them and their QB that reminds you of the couple back in high school that would go on a break every week just to be back together by Friday. On the other side, you have Rodgers continuing to not be that guy and Jets fans get closer to ending it all. The battle was won by the high school relationship, and I have no clue if that’s good or bad to be honest.
Falcons vs Broncos:
Bo Nix is that guy. Bro deserves every award imaginable. Riot Club is closing in on actually becoming a Bo Nix fan club. We love him.
Chiefs vs Bills:
Finally, the undefeated season comes to an end. Ignoring Tony Romo having Mahomes cock so far down his throat we could barely understand him, this was a great game. Two good teams with two of the best QBs in the league fighting it out. To no one’s surprise, it’s a banger of a game. Also to no one’s real surprise, Josh Allen once again won in the regular season meaning he is guaranteed to lose in the conference championship to the Chiefs, again.
Avalanche vs Flyers:
Sam and I decided to skip watching a bum ass Monday Night Football game to instead watch the bum ass Flyers. Other than committing what felt like a million turnovers, not being able to break out of their own end, letting the Avalanche run the cycle for what felt like an eternity, and taking multiple dumb penalties that kept either taking a power play away or giving the Avalanche a power play, the Flyers played decently. As has been a long standing tradition for them, they played like shit the first 50 minutes then came out for the last 10 firing on all cylinders to make the game seem closer than it really was. A 3-2 final felt much more like it should’ve been a 9-2 final. On the bright side, it was dollar dog night so I downed 8 hot dogs (Sam is a bitch and only did 4) then spent all day on Tuesday on the toilet, which is where the Flyers belong.
Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson:
I’m not qualified to talk about boxing, I don’t know shit. What I do know is the two title fights on this card where both banger fights with unfortunate or controversial endings. Paul and Tyson decided, “why wait for the ending to be unfortunate and controversial?”, and instead chose to just have a dogshit fight instead. Almost no punches thrown, nothing large landing, and then a pandering fest afterwards basically tells us all this was rigged from the start, but good for you Tyson, get that bag. I can’t wait for the Jake Paul vs Joe Biden fight next year, I’m putting 10k on Biden first round KO of Paul, just a gut feeling.
