FROM THE COUCH:
I Hate Notre Dame, Cornboys Goes After Ohio State, It’s Raining Fifty Burgers, Nobody Cares About Michigan, Winston Is A Savior, The New Jamarcus, Jets Gonna Jet, and more!
Mike Leitao ~ 10/30/2024
If the idea of an intro is to hook the reader to be interested in the rest of the writing, but you’ve already created a series, meaning people already know what to expect, does it make the idea of an intro irrelevant? I would say yes, but I hate intros so I may be slightly biased.
Notre Dame vs Navy:
Fuck Notre Dame. They are the worst school of all time. No one likes you. One of the most fun things we had going this season was undefeated Army and Navy with the potential for an incredible game at the end of the season. But no, bum ass Notre Dame had to ruin all the fun. I hope you continue to lose to teams that you shouldn't and to be complete failures. I hate you.
Nebraska vs Ohio State:
Normally when a top-5 team gets a home game against unranked competition the expectation is they will blow them out. The odds agreed with Ohio State being -25. Little did we know Ohio State wouldn’t even score 25 points. I don’t care that a win is a win, how the fuck do you scrape by Nebraska by 4 points, all they have out there is corn.
Oklahoma vs Ole Miss:
Can someone logically explain how Ole Miss is a top-20 ranked team. They have 2 losses with one on the road to #16 LSU and the other at home to unranked and below .500 Kentucky. Their best win is a road win versus a .500 South Carolina team. There is no reason this team should be ranked so high (if ranked at all).
Arkansas vs Mississippi State AND Temple vs East Carolina:
We got 3 fifty burgers this week (shoutout Western Michigan). Though neither of these huge offensive performances are shocking, Mississippi State and Temple are dogshit, I always love me some dumb offensive production. Notable is Arkansas for having over 350 rushing yards in one game, which feels almost illegal.
Missouri vs Alabama:
See Oklahoma vs Ole Miss. Seriously though, how is Missouri still kicking in the top 25? They also have no impressive wins, with their best win coming at home versus a .500 Boston College team. Both their losses were ugly losses versus middle ranked teams. Feels like a team that should very clearly not be ranked, but can’t forget the arbitrary SEC bonus in the rankings, which is probably what’s saving them.
UTSA vs Tulsa:
Did either team score 50? No, but they both scored 45 meaning over 90 total points which is good enough for me. Almost 1,000 total offensive yards, with over 800 of them coming through the air. That’s the type of game that you would never watch live, but then when you see the score you wish you watched this over the boring-ass shit you ended up watching.
Michigan State vs Michigan:
I miss when this game meant something. Used to be a huge bloody rivalry and now it’s just a game that’s played in Michigan and no one cares cause the Lions are killing it. Sad.
Ravens vs Browns:
Two things. Firstly, Winston is a dawg and so much better than Watson. Bro is not only one of the funniest and most beloved players in the league, but the man can throw like an elite-level QB when he wants to. Sometimes it’s easy to forget he was a number 1 overall pick. Secondly, Kyle Hamilton single handily ruined my parlay so I am expecting a Venmo of 70 bucks to make up for my lost winnings because of his dropped interception.
Titans vs Lions:
50 pointers are fun in college, but in the NFL they are top-tier. Not only did the Lions beat the Titans so badly they should be relegated to CFB, but they did so with less than 100 passing yards. Sometimes I swear the Lions just be doing shit purely for the bit. And I love it.
Colts vs Texans:
Anthony Richardson is dogwater, we can officially say it. Ignoring the complete lack of any real game time for development. Ignoring the fact he is completing barely 50% of his throws making him one of the worst QBs in that stat ever. Ignoring the continuous injuries that keep him out of action where a backup comes in and plays better. The writing on the wall was when bro took himself out of the game on a crucial 3rd down cause he was tired. Absolutely wild thing for a pro athlete to do, and it’s showing with the fact that he’s no longer the starter. Bro could’ve been Cam Newton but decided to be Jamarcus Russell, you hate to see it.
New York Jets vs New England Patriots:
All the hype with Rodgers, all the hype with trading for Adams, all for you to lose to the bum-ass Patriots who lose their QB halfway through the game. Jets gonna Jet.
Bears vs Commanders:
We’ve seen 2 successful Hail Marys this year which is pretty fun. The only thing more fun is seeing the Bears cornerback shit talking fans mid play to then be the guy who tipped the ball right into the Commanders receiver’s hands. Not only is that poetic, but I’m sure the film study for the game is going to be interesting for him… to say the least.
Giants vs Steelers:
No one cares about this game. Please stop giving the Steelers prime time games. I don’t care if they are 6-2 and a historic franchise. There is no reason they should’ve gotten 3 prime time games over the last 4 weeks, I can’t look at ugly ass Mike Tomlin any longer.
World Series:
I said at the start of this series I won’t cover baseball except for maybe the World Series. I have not watched the World Series with any level of interest so based on my rough watchings and box score watching, the Yankees suck and the Dodgers are the greatest team ever. Hooray for baseball.
