FROM THE COUCH:
Go Army Go, Showing The Blue Field Love, It’s Raining Fifty Burgers, James Franklin Sucks, Derek Carr Is An Actual Loser, Browns Gonna Brown, and more!
Mike Leitao ~ 11/6/2024
This was such a lame week for college football. There were some good games and some solid upsets, but just nothing that exciting. It’s very sad. I’m sad now.
Air Force vs Army:
Oh Army my Army, may you continue to shine like the brightest star the world has ever seen. Another win to bring them to 8-0 and ranked 18th overall, we now just patiently wait for the game vs Notre Dame that will determine my happiness for the rest of the year.
San Diego State vs Boise State:
I’ve always loved Boise State’s blue field. It’s just so unique and always looks great. I also think the dark blue and orange work really well together. Also Jeanty is the second coming of God, he’s seriously so incredible to watch it makes me think, “Wow, maybe running backs aren’t completely worthless”.
Ohio State vs Penn State:
When I'm losing to Ohio State, my opponent is James Franklin. When I’m losing to a top-5 ranked team, my opponent is James Franklin. Dude is so average. Penn State has been the team that goes 10-2 and always gets a New Year's Six bowl and they play somewhat competitively, and then repeat. It’s crazy to see a team have so much talent come through over so many years and somehow be so complacent.
Ole Miss vs Arkansas:
Welcome back to another episode of watching a team drop 50+ on your head. There were a lot of teams that scored a ton of points this weekend, but something about Ole Miss with the clean 63, with 49 of them coming between 2 quarters just brings me a little joy. Which is all I need to not end it all.
Texas Tech vs Iowa State:
How the hell do you lose as a ranked team at home as a 13-point favorite. Yeah, Iowa State lost by one point with the winning score coming in the last 20 seconds of the game, I don’t care. A ranked team shouldn’t be in that position against an unranked team, do better.
Pittsburgh vs SMU:
I was really rooting for Pittsburgh and I thought they might do it. I was, in fact, wrong. SMU actually looked great while Pitt looked like a JV team who all have substantial brain damage. The good news for them is since SMU was ranked the loss, as bad as it was, won’t drop them too much in the standings.
Texans vs Jets:
Damn the Texans kinda blow. CJ Stroud is sort of trash this year. The Jets win a game which is always fun for them, but man I really thought the Texans would be a threat in the AFC and they’ve just been so meh.
Cowboys vs Falcons:
Man the Cowboys always somehow disappoint. It's impressive. This team just always makes fans wish they were dead and with Dak getting hurt it only will get worse.
Broncos vs Ravens:
Ain’t nobody care that the Ravens smacked the Broncos around. Ain’t nobody care that Lamar might be winning his 3rd MVP and back to back. The GOAT Bo Nix had a receiving TD and bro is a straight dog. I love you Bo Nix.
Saints vs Panthers:
Derek Carr set a record this past weekend as he lost to his 31st different team. The Saints play the Raiders later in the year which gives him the opportunity to become the first QB to lose to all 32 NFL franchises. It’s truly impressive how he went from one of the most underrated QBs in the league to complete shit.
Chargers vs Browns:
The Browns blow, Mayfield would’ve led this team to the playoffs. Browns gonna Brown.
Patriots vs Titans:
Anyone watch this game? If so, why? Do you have therapy issues? These teams suck, but hey, good for you. Drake Maye deserves better tbh.
Bears vs Cardinals:
Caleb Williams might be bipolar. Bro either plays like an absolute unit, like you would expect from a 1st overall pick or plays like every other Bears QB ever. So maybe it’s an issue with the Bears more than Williams, but I say we blame them both.
Colts vs Vikings:
The Colts chose to bench Richardson for Flacco since they thought that would give them the best chance to win. Flacco then proceeded to play like dogshit and the Colts only TD came from their defense. If you are gonna draft a QB that everyone knows has very limited experience and will need a lot of development, maybe spend the time and resources to develop him (crazy concept I know).
Buccaneers vs Chiefs:
They can’t keep getting away with this. But seriously, constantly complaining every week about the Chiefs and how the refs favor those lucky bastards is a waste of time. The real thing to think about, is the fact that the Chiefs are undefeated and haven’t even played that well. I don’t know if it should terrify me that if they put themselves together the league is cooked, or reassure me since it’s unlikely they can maintain this luck to a 3rd Super Bowl in a row. At least god I hope they can’t. Fuck the Chiefs.
Dodgers vs Yankees Game 5:
Wow. That was embarrassing. Imagine being so trash that you blow a 5-run lead entirely on errors. Were the Yankees gonna come back? Probably not. But to be at home with a chance to force a game 6 and you have an inning with so many awful plays it just makes you realize that sometimes the simplest parts of baseball are really the most important.
