Dissecting March

Mike Leitao ~ 03/3/2024

Ah March. With the flipping of the calendars we enter a new month, and unlike February, it actually feels like a new month. Seriously, if it wasn’t for February having the unique quality of being 28 or 29 days compared to the traditional 30 or 31 like the rest of the months, February would honestly just be January part 2. Nothing really happens in February of relevance that gives it an identity. Sure, the people in Punxsutawney would probably like to have a word with me as they worship their god of choice being a fucking groundhog who predicts when a season will change even though it doesn’t actually mean anything. But March really does feel like a change. Once this month rolls around, it feels like the long cold days of winter are ending and that summer is closing in. That got me thinking, what are some of my favorite (and least favorite) parts of March. So I decided I would do you all the favor of blessing your eyes with an incredible list of my three favorite and least favorite things around the month of March.

Least Favorites

Easter in March:

Let me make one thing abundantly clear, this is not me saying I hate Easter. In truth, I am pretty neutral on Easter. It’s on a Sunday so it doesn’t give me PTO so it doesn’t impact my work schedule which is a negative, but it’s also the type of holiday that people kind of just do pretty lowkey so it doesn’t make Sunday a hell of a day to drive so that’s a positive I guess. But Easter in March, now that, I hate. Allow me to explain; Easter is obviously a religious holiday, but most people don’t treat it as such. For a lot of people, Easter is really just the equivalent of celebrating spring. Easter can happen in March between the 22nd and 31st, which gives it a roughly 13% chance to happen in March compared to April, or roughly every 4 years. My issue comes with the fact that even though we have a set day on when winter becomes spring, the weather is unpredictable and there is still a chance that the following week or two after spring officially here could still be cold and feel like winter. If you are celebrating Easter when it is cold out or even crazier, if it snows, that is basically not Easter. Now because this is a religious holiday first, it comes in low on the list because it really can’t be moved without messing with the meaning, and it simply does not matter enough to me for that.

Pi Day and the Ides of March:

You might be reading that and thinking one of two things. You are either thinking “yo what the fuck is this guy talking about, what are those” or you are thinking “oh my god how could he hate these funny and interesting days”. If you are thinking of the second, respectfully, you are a nerd. I already hate fake holidays, but I can ignore ones like National Pickle Day or dumb ones like that. But legitimate nerd ones? I draw the line. Pi Day is 3/14 every year, because those are the digits of Pi. If some dude rolls up to me on 3/14 and says “happy Pi Day”, I’m calling the cops and saying they deal drugs. Unless I’m getting some type of benefit being either PTO or OT, I don’t want to hear about your wack ass fake Holiday. The Ides of March are slightly less bad, mostly because they are technically just a nerdy way to say mid March. Of course, if you say it to quote Shakespeare and the Caesar play, then you are officially in “I hate you” nerd territory. Seriously, similarly to Pi Day, if you come up to me and say “beware of the Ides of March”, I’m going to say you threatened me and get a restraining order. The farther away I can keep people like that away from me, the better.

Daylight Savings:

My mortal enemy. I don’t even know if in March we set our clocks forward of backwards, I just know that it pisses me off. Because I hate this shit so much, I’ve looked it up before so I know it is a thing for farmers. However, it is no longer needed for farmers, rendering it completely worthless. Yet here we still are, performing it multiple times a year like clockwork (this is a pun by the way). I don’t care if getting the hour back for sleep is nice, you lose any hour earlier in the year that you are gaining back. You basically just rented out an hour of your life and got it returned the same way you lent it out, but you received no additional payout for it so you were just missing something for a while then were given it back. It’s dumb, everyone knows it’s dumb, the fact that it hasn’t been canned yet is honestly shocking.

Favorite

NHL Trade Deadline:

This might be seen as a biased pick since I am a hockey fan so of course I like this. But it’s my list, so shut up. The NHL trade deadline is no NBA trade deadline, I will admit. But compared to other leagues, there are probably bigger moves made here than the others. Multiple star or above average players will be moved along with a ton of future picks and prospects that every year this event has the potential to change the future of the league. Also, the eventually Stanley Cup champion almost always makes some kind of deadline move, so once the season is over it’s always fun to look back on and see what moves looked like they actually worked out and what moves absolutely blew up in teams faces. Sure, you technically can’t look back until the season is over which isn’t March, but the event happens in March so I say it’s all inclusive and it’s my list so that’s all that matters.

First Day of Spring:

As already briefly discussed above, the official launch of spring happens in late March. Although fall is the best holiday, I think it is safe to say spring is second. The weather gets a bit warmer, but it doesn’t get to stand in the sun’s heat so you can wear a variety of clothing and be comfortable. The sun stays up a bit longer each day and in turn, some outdoor things stay open later. Although snow and cold weather can still hit after spring is here and the rain and allergies are certainly negatives, not being freezing when I have to walk to my car and give it what feels like forever to heat up is enough of an advantage for me to put it in the favorites and not neutral.

St. Patrick’s Day and Mardi Gras:

Could there really be any other choice for best pieces of March. Sure, there is no PTO involved which I mentioned earlier is a negative in my book when it comes to holidays. The difference here is that these holidays are all about drinking a lot and everyone knows and understands that. You tell someone that you were absolutely shit faced for Easter or Groundhogs Day and best believe they are gonna check your ass into AA. But you tell someone the same thing for St. Patrick’s Day or Mardi Gras and I expect the response you will get back will be something along the lines of “oh shit me too”! Even for people who don’t really drink, these holidays still have a leg up because they feel like true celebrations. They aren’t the type of holidays that are boring or result in family arguments, they are all about bringing people together to have a grand ol time, and it seems to always succeed.

I want to put both an honorable and dishonorable mention to the NFL combine. Partially because it takes place at the end of February and beginning of March, but also because I both like and hate this event. I will be going into more detail later this week (oooh spoiler alert), but wanted it to be known that I acknowledge it as an event that does in fact take place in March.

So, that’s my list. Agree? Disagree? I honestly don’t care at all, it’s my opinion and although everyone is entitled to their own, it is wrong if it doesn’t match what I wrote above.