Comcast’s Dilemma
Mike Leitao ~ 11/11/2024
It was announced earlier this year that Wells Fargo would not be renewing their naming rights for the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, thus a new name will be given. The arena has been the Wells Fargo Center for almost 15 years and even though it’s been through many names in its brief 28 year history, it has technically been the same bank name the whole time due to the namesake banks getting acquired repeatedly. Many have attempted to predict the next name will be, with the final decision going to Comcast, who owns the building. I’m confident I have the best one, which will inevitably become the greatest stadium name of all time. But before that, it feels good to start with some honorable mentions.
Wawa Center:
Everyone in Philly loves Wawa. Imagine going to a game and being able to get a hoagie from the Wawa storefronts that would be throughout the arena. Plus the variety of food Wawa offers means all other food options wouldn’t be needed. Add in Hoagiefest and you know the crowd would be going electric all game long.
IHateStevenSinger.Com Arena:
Look out Crypto.com Arena, there’s a new fish in town and it’s bigger and better. We’ve all seen the billboards, we all know the ads, we all know that if there is one thing Philly represents, it’s hating Steven Singer. Do sports match the new name? Not at all. But sometimes you gotta remember there are more important things in life, and getting to tell people you saw a game or concert at the IHateStevenSinger.com Arena is worth it already.
TastyKake Jawn Arena:
This is dumb. I hate this. But if we get free Tasty Kakes for wins and Gritty is out calling people jawn on a regular basis, I can live with it. Now without further adieu, the name that will change sports forever…
Peco Power Plant:
Full disclosure, I specifically thought of the Flyers for this name, the 76ers mean nothing to me and they might move to Jersey soon anyways. Imagine this, you walk into the Stadium, exposed piping and plant material throughout the concourse. You get to your seat and you look around the marvelous arena as you wait for the opening of the game. Then the clock starts counting down. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Let’s go out. Gritty appears, dressed as Ben Franklin. He’s flying a kite as the Jumbotron shows a storm. Then all the sudden, the kite connects with the Jumbotron and BAM! Lightning appears all around the arena as you hear the sounds of gears turning and machines running as the lights flicker a few times before coming on. You look on the ice to see the Flyers coming out from underneath a power plant reactor. The building is electric. Opponents tremble in fear of playing at the Power Plant, where the Flyers home ice advantage is always on. The game starts and chants of “Welcome to the Power Plant” echo throughout the arena. The away team makes a bad play and the Flyers capitalize on it and score. The arena explodes with the sound of cheers and the new goal horn, an industrial alarm so loud it makes blue collar workers all across Philly think something happened. As the game continues the fans ridicule the goalie with chants of “Insert goalie name here, you just got shocked!” And “Heyyyyyyy he’s got no power! Yeahhhhh we got the power!”.
The first commercial break starts and out comes the ice crew dressed as Power Plant floor workers as they shovel the ice. The Flyers take a penalty but kill it off and the whole arena yells “Power back on!” The away team takes a penalty, and it’s time for the biggest advantage we have. As they announce the penalty, the fans and the PA announcer say together in unison, “THE FLYERS ARE GOING ON THE PECOOOOOOOOOOOO POWER PLAY!!” The chants are so loud it causes scientists to think a miniature earthquake has hit downtown Philly. The game continues with the fans nonstop chanting to keep their team engaged and the away team depressed. The game ends with a Flyers victory, as they normally do since the name change. Gritty comes back out with his kite and once again shocks the entire stadium awake one last time. The Flyers win song plays (can’t change that, it’s too iconic). The goal horn goes off one last time, a signal to all that another day's work has been successfully completed and it’s time to go home and rest to come back the next day (aka game) and do it all again, the American Dream.
So, after Comcast reads this article and realizes this is the greatest idea of all time, no debate, I ask only a few things in return. Firstly, season tickets for wherever I want and forever. Secondly, the Flyers become official partners with Riot Club. And lastly, we let me be Gritty for one game. Assuming those conditions are all met, the name and ideas are all yours Comcast.
