Bum-Ass Fake Frenchies
Mike Leitao ~ 10/14/2024
In my recent blind rages of hate spewed towards New York last month, I didn’t even realize that I haven’t talked about my least favorite destination I’ve visited this year. Over the last weekend of June, my girlfriend and I spent a weekend up in Quebec, spending a Saturday in Montreal and Sunday in Quebec City. And man, I’ll tell you what, it is not on my list to go back to. For context, I visited Montreal and Quebec City back in the summer of 2015 and my girlfriend had never been to Canada. Although I was aware that Quebec was different from the rest of Canada, I didn’t remember it being so drastic and kinda ass.
All that being said, there are good aspects of Quebec. Old Quebec City was very charming and pretty easy to walk all around for sightseeing. There was good food, albeit nothing so great it’s worth a trip for. Tim Horton’s is an elite breakfast place and the donuts are really good there. Other than that though, everything else is on the scale of meh to downright bad.
Let’s start with the driving, we drove from Philly up to Montreal then to Quebec City then back to home. It was a lot of driving and a lot of it happened very late at night, so there is a chance that maybe I was just over driving and more prone to anger. But regardless, the drivers there are so shit. The second we crossed into Canada, every driver was driving so incredibly slow. The speed limits in Canada are slightly different than America where instead of just having a speed limit that doesn’t mean much, they have maximum and minimum speeds. In my mind, I assumed most drivers drove towards the top of the maximum speed and slightly over, but to my utter shock and surprise, the people driving on that road were driving much closer to the minimum.
Since I am not from Canada, I don’t know what is considered normal, so I didn’t press much to try and get to the maximum speed at the start. But once I had driven for so many hours without seeing a single cop, I had enough and started driving the maximum. And then after I got comfortable with that I started going slightly over the maximum. And you know what happened to me? Nothing. Not a single thing. The only time I saw a cop while driving in Canada, they were on a side road not connected to the highway so it’s not even like they were able to pull me over. The fact that most of this driving happened late at night, as in the early 1 and 2 am, and people were driving so slow shocked me. Maybe us Americans are too aggressive when it comes to driving, but sorry, I got places to be. Even the few Ubers we took in the city were not super aggressive drivers, and Uber drivers are some of the most reckless drivers out there. For transportation, they rank pretty poor in terms of getting from point A to point B in a timely manner.
The real downside of Quebec though is the people. All these fake French headasses being so incredibly judgemental of all the tourists and anyone who was not a native Quebecer. I fully understand that English is not the language of the world and it is unfair to assume everywhere you travel for the people there to speak English. But English is the language of all of the United States and Canada except for Quebec. News flash Quebec, you ain’t special. No one cares about you like that. This whole “oui oui baguette baguette” bullshit entitlement act you got going on is gross. The people of Canada are nice, unless you are dealing with people from Quebec. Those people are assholes. They were very clearly talking about different tourists and straight up having shops or restaurants speak only French as a deterrent for tourists is negative IQ level behavior. These people are so bummy it’s an off putting time. I’ve been to both eastern and western Canada around a total of 5 times and every time I go to the non-Quebec parts of Canada the stereotype of Canadians being super nice and polite is so incredibly true. Then the second you step into Quebec it goes right out the window. It’s like the people who live there are proud of the fact they are dicks and aren’t like the rest of Canada.
So the real question is, which is worse? New York or Quebec? After spending hours thinking about my options (that is a lie I decided in 5 minutes), I came to a decision. I, the great hater of New York himself, would take New York over Quebec any day. At the end of the day, it really isn’t that surprising to me though. New York may be dirty and overpriced, but there is so much to do and so much incredible food that compared to Quebec which is just full of annoying-ass French speakers who are too busy eating bread and bullying tourists to make Quebec an enjoyable place. So in the war between Canada and the United States that will inevitably happen, catch me on the front lines killing all those French speaking fucks and burning bum-ass Quebec to the ground.
