Bullying: An Effective Tool
Sam Sykes ~ 11/7/2024
They say bullying is bad, and maybe there's some truth in that, but it’s definitely an effective tool to curb shitty and unwanted behavior. I outlined five demographics that could use some teasing. These groups are some of the most irritating people we have created through modern weakness. Let’s make fun of them!
Divorced Dads
Single dads, like single moms, usually destroy their families because of pure selfishness and not any real marital problem. People used to get married, have no money, and have like 9 kids without ever getting divorced. But since the boomers basically invented modern divorce, marriage has become just another phase or era in someone's life. I guess there was so much money flying around America back then that these now 75-year-olds that have three divorces can still afford to keep his beach house. Modern single dads (excluding widowers) are a special level of stupid these days. They’re always bragging about how they’re banging some 20-year-old stripper while at the same time, a real man, raises his abandoned kids. Every other weekend is not a recipe for success. Bully away.
Dog Moms
Childless broads that call themselves “dog moms” unironically are just sad. A dog is a stupid animal that provides no real value in today’s western world. Dogs used to be used for hunting, herding, and protection, but now they are fattened-up cuddle slaves. Sometimes I want to sit these people down and ask them honestly, “You know your dog doesn’t love you, right?”. But I already know the answer, they think that the behaviors mimicking love or adoration coming from a dog is true, but it’s really just how they survive. Whatever keeps food in their belly and keeps them warm in a shelter is all they want. If you shot one of these ladies’ dogs right in front of me, I seriously couldn’t care less. On the other hand, I’d take a bullet to save any (western) child. I would say you can bully these chicks, but that probably means even more emotional support animals.
Vegan Dudes
Veganism is gross, unsustainable, and incredibly dull. The people that tout vegetables prepared in the perfect manner taste better than any burger or steak are flat out lying. Veganism killed Cam Newton’s career because it is not a lifestyle or diet that promotes athletic excellence and recovery. The worst part about hanging out with a vegan is that they always talk about their diet, and make every meal about them. They can’t drink, because they all weigh 120 pounds and have bellies full of carrots and shit, And for some reason they always have next level body odor. If any of these stinky lightweights make it to your bar, please bully them right out.
Sleazeballs
The image of the used car salesman as a slimy dirtbag always looking to rip off a small family or old lady is a classic in America, but I don’t think it extends far enough. Really any car salesman, used, new, and dealership, are all a step up from a common thief. These dudes always have slicked hair with their big gut swelled up under a dealership polo, wandering the lot looking for victims. It’s amazing we buy cars from these low-IQ weirdos that could probably not do any other job in the world. God forbid they get your phone number or email address and blow your shit up twice a day for the rest of your life. Let’s bully these losers.
Aliens Bruh
The idea of extraterrestrial life is a pretty retarded concept unless it's the premise of a summer blockbuster. I’ve been asked by several people why I don’t believe in aliens, and the answer is that I really just don’t care. Alien conspiracists are probably the most palatable people on this list, but they still don’t know when to shut the fuck up about it. I get it, some pilot saw something he couldn’t explain, I’m not convinced. Bully that idiot.
