Riot Club Guide: I Hate Jeff
Gator Thunderstorm ~ 09/06/2024
My ex-wife thinks Jeff is the answer to all of her problems, the husband I never was, and effectively the new father of my children. Well, I declare war, here’s my comprehensive guide to fucking with any weaker, lesser man who is trying to be the new you:
Spreading Rumors: Telling mutual friends that the ex-wife was unfaithful during their marriage, even if it’s not true, to create doubt in her new partner’s mind.
Ex. AI is a wonderful tool to create fake images and text messages to try and create doubt in Jeff’s mind. I slipped in a picture of Susie bowling last week when Jeff was on a business trip. Only thing is, Susie’s not in a bowling league. She hates it. Fuck you Jeff!
2. Interfering with Children: Encouraging the children to misbehave or speak negatively about their step-parent, causing friction in the new household.
Ex. I have encouraged our children and dog to refer to Jeff as Jek. It will slowly drive him crazy and undermine the respect our children have for him. Fuck you Jeff!
3. Financial Manipulation: Delaying child support payments, making it difficult for the ex-wife and her new spouse to manage their finances, leading to stress and arguments.
Ex. Santa bought the kids a shredder for Christmas, and they have been instructed to shred all the possible financial documents they can find. As soon as my visitation on Wednesday nights from 6-6:30 p.m. are unsupervised, I will be able to get an update on operation Shred The Badman. Fuck you Jeff!
4. Legal Harassment: Filing for full custody of the children without any substantial reason, forcing the ex-wife to spend time and money on legal battles.
Ex. I sued Jeff and my ex-wife for theft of intellectual property. I always wanted a two-story shed in my backyard and they got one a few months ago. Although my lawyer says that's not intellectual property, I still think Susie did it to get back at me. Fuck you Jeff!
5. Emotional Manipulation: Sending nostalgic messages or gifts to the ex-wife, trying to remind her of the good times in their past relationship, causing confusion and tension.
Ex. I recently sent her a photo of my penis and butthole to remember me and all the great times we had. Fuck you Jeff!
6. Social Media Attacks: Posting derogatory comments about the ex-wife on social media, or sharing embarrassing photos from their past to humiliate her.
Ex. I recently found a picture of Jeff deep sea fishing 12 years ago. I put it on facebook to put him on blast, doesn’t he know fishing is basically mass murder of the sea. #canceled #SEArialKiller #fuckyoujeff!
7. Stalking or Surveillance: Showing up unannounced at places the ex-wife frequents, or using mutual friends to keep tabs on her activities, making her feel watched and uncomfortable.
Ex. I recently showed up at Susie’s mother’s funeral. Made a speech, and ate all the food at the reception before realizing that it was not her mothers funeral and she wasn’t there. It’s the thought that counts. Fuck you Jeff!
8. Undermining New Partner: Telling the new partner that the ex-wife still has feelings for him, or that she often talks about their past relationship, to create insecurity.
Ex. I am currently on step 3 of a 19-step plan trying to seduce Jeff myself. When Susie realizes that Jeff and I have taken up as lovers, she will be crushed. Fuck you Jeff!
9. Creating Conflicts: Bringing up old arguments or unresolved issues in front of the new partner, causing unnecessary fights and stress in the new relationship.
Ex. While she was dropping Gator Jr. and Ragina at supervised visitation, I brought up our classic, air hockey table fight. While we were married I bought an air hockey table and put it in the living room. She made me return it so we could “make the rent”. Turns out we still had a few hundred dollars left after paying the rent, that lying bitch. Fuck you Jeff!
10. Using Mutual Friends: Convincing mutual friends to take his side and speak negatively about the ex-wife’s new relationship, creating a hostile social environment for her.
Ex. I haven’t met any of her friends yet, but I have found out where they live and I am building a profile on each of them. Fuck you Jeff!
These steps should help ensure you have a healthy, sustainable, and fun relationship with your wife’s new husband.
