Riot Club Guide: Spreading Chocolate Joy
Gator Thunderstorm ~ 08/16/2024
1. Preparation:
Pick Your Poison:
Variety: Select a mix of brown, green, and yellow poops to cater to different tastes.
Shapes and Wrappings: Opt for shits in fun shapes (like hearts or stars) and colorful parts to make them more appealing.
Quality: Choose high-quality poos that won’t melt easily and can withstand being carried around.
Pantleg Pockets:
Design: Sew small, discreet pockets inside your pantlegs. Use soft fabric to avoid discomfort.
Placement: Position the pockets around the knee area for easy access.
Capacity: Ensure each pocket can hold 2-3 craps without bulging.
Discreet Release Mechanism:
Slit or Button: Create a small slit or add a button to the pocket for easy release.
Velcro: Consider using Velcro for a quick and silent opening.
Practice: Practice releasing the poo at home to ensure smooth execution.
2. Locations and Tips:
At the Store:
Grocery Aisles:
Example: Drop a poop near the cereal aisle, where parents often shop with their kids.
Tip: Choose a time when the aisle is less crowded to avoid being noticed.
Checkout Counter:
Example: Leave a shit near the conveyor belt or the credit card machine.
Tip: Pretend to adjust your shoe or drop something to create a distraction.
At the Hospital:
Waiting Rooms:
Example: Place a crap on a chair or table in the waiting area.
Tip: Choose a spot where it will be easily seen but not immediately picked up.
Nurse Stations:
Example: Leave a poo near the nurse’s station or on a counter where staff take breaks.
Tip: Be extra discreet and quick, as hospital staff are often busy and observant.
At the DMV:
Waiting Area:
Example: Drop a shit near the seating area where people wait for their turn.
Tip: Use the noise and movement of the crowd to your advantage.
Forms Counter:
Example: Leave one near the counter where people pick up forms or fill out paperwork.
Tip: Act as if you’re organizing your own papers to avoid suspicion.
On the Street:
Benches:
Example: Place a poop on a bench for a passerby to find.
Tip: Choose benches in busy areas like parks or near popular cafes.
Bus Stops:
Example: Leave one near the bus stop shelter or on the bench.
Tip: Time your drop with the arrival or departure of a bus to blend in with the crowd.
In an Uber:
Seat Pockets:
Example: Drop a butt-chocolate in the seat pocket for the next passenger to discover.
Tip: Do this as you exit the vehicle to avoid being seen by the driver.
Driver’s Console:
Example: Leave one near the driver’s console as a thank you for the ride.
Tip: Compliment the driver on their service to create a distraction.
At a Protest:
Sign Holders:
Example: Place a crap near the base of a sign or banner.
Tip: Choose signs that are less likely to be moved frequently.
Gathering Spots:
Example: Leave poos in areas where people gather to rest or chat.
Tip: Use the energy and movement of the crowd to your advantage.
3. Discretion and Timing:
Be Subtle:
Body Language: Act natural and avoid looking around suspiciously.
Distractions: Use distractions like adjusting your clothing or pretending to tie your shoe.
Confidence: Move with confidence and purpose to avoid drawing attention.
Timing:
Busy Moments: Choose moments when people are distracted or busy, such as during rush hour or busy shopping times.
Quiet Moments: Alternatively, choose quieter times when fewer people are around to notice your actions.
Blend In: Blend in with the crowd and use natural movements to drop the craps.
4. Enjoy the Reactions:
Observe from Afar:
Distance: Watch from a distance to see the joy and surprise on people’s faces when they find your fun shits.
Discretion: Be discreet and avoid making it obvious that you’re watching.
Satisfaction: Enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you’ve brightened someone’s day.
Stay Anonymous:
Mystery: Keep your identity a secret to maintain the mystery and magic of the experience.
No Traces: Avoid leaving any traces that could lead back to you.
Repeat: Continue your mission in different locations to spread joy all over town.
Additional Tips and Ideas:
Themes and Holidays:
Seasonal Shits: Use themed crap for holidays like Halloween, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day.
Special Occasions: Consider special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries to leave little shits with personalized messages.
Personal Touch:
Notes: Attach small notes with positive messages or quotes to the poop.
Stickers: Use fun stickers or decorations to make the poo even more special.
Community Involvement:
Local Events: Participate in local events or festivals to spread joy to a larger audience.
Collaborate: Collaborate with local businesses or organizations to leave chocolates in their establishments.
Safety and Hygiene:
Clean Hands: Always clean hands after handling poop to ensure hygiene.
Safe Locations: Choose safe and appropriate locations to leave the shits, avoiding places where they might be mistaken for something harmful.