Riot Club Guide: Spreading Chocolate Joy

Gator Thunderstorm ~ 08/16/2024

1. Preparation:

  • Pick Your Poison:

    • Variety: Select a mix of brown, green, and yellow poops to cater to different tastes.

    • Shapes and Wrappings: Opt for shits in fun shapes (like hearts or stars) and colorful parts to make them more appealing.

    • Quality: Choose high-quality poos that won’t melt easily and can withstand being carried around.

  • Pantleg Pockets:

    • Design: Sew small, discreet pockets inside your pantlegs. Use soft fabric to avoid discomfort.

    • Placement: Position the pockets around the knee area for easy access.

    • Capacity: Ensure each pocket can hold 2-3 craps without bulging.

  • Discreet Release Mechanism:

    • Slit or Button: Create a small slit or add a button to the pocket for easy release.

    • Velcro: Consider using Velcro for a quick and silent opening.

Practice: Practice releasing the poo at home to ensure smooth execution.

2. Locations and Tips:

  • At the Store:

    • Grocery Aisles:

      • Example: Drop a poop near the cereal aisle, where parents often shop with their kids.

      • Tip: Choose a time when the aisle is less crowded to avoid being noticed.

    • Checkout Counter:

      • Example: Leave a shit near the conveyor belt or the credit card machine.

      • Tip: Pretend to adjust your shoe or drop something to create a distraction.

  • At the Hospital:

    • Waiting Rooms:

      • Example: Place a crap on a chair or table in the waiting area.

      • Tip: Choose a spot where it will be easily seen but not immediately picked up.

    • Nurse Stations:

      • Example: Leave a poo near the nurse’s station or on a counter where staff take breaks.

Tip: Be extra discreet and quick, as hospital staff are often busy and observant.

At the DMV:

  • Waiting Area:

    • Example: Drop a shit near the seating area where people wait for their turn.

    • Tip: Use the noise and movement of the crowd to your advantage.

  • Forms Counter:

    • Example: Leave one near the counter where people pick up forms or fill out paperwork.

    • Tip: Act as if you’re organizing your own papers to avoid suspicion.

  • On the Street:

    • Benches:

      • Example: Place a poop on a bench for a passerby to find.

      • Tip: Choose benches in busy areas like parks or near popular cafes.

    • Bus Stops:

      • Example: Leave one near the bus stop shelter or on the bench.

Tip: Time your drop with the arrival or departure of a bus to blend in with the crowd.

In an Uber:

  • Seat Pockets:

    • Example: Drop a butt-chocolate in the seat pocket for the next passenger to discover.

    • Tip: Do this as you exit the vehicle to avoid being seen by the driver.

  • Driver’s Console:

    • Example: Leave one near the driver’s console as a thank you for the ride.

    • Tip: Compliment the driver on their service to create a distraction.

  • At a Protest:

    • Sign Holders:

      • Example: Place a crap near the base of a sign or banner.

      • Tip: Choose signs that are less likely to be moved frequently.

    • Gathering Spots:

      • Example: Leave poos in areas where people gather to rest or chat.

Tip: Use the energy and movement of the crowd to your advantage.

3. Discretion and Timing:

  • Be Subtle:

    • Body Language: Act natural and avoid looking around suspiciously.

    • Distractions: Use distractions like adjusting your clothing or pretending to tie your shoe.

    • Confidence: Move with confidence and purpose to avoid drawing attention.

  • Timing:

    • Busy Moments: Choose moments when people are distracted or busy, such as during rush hour or busy shopping times.

    • Quiet Moments: Alternatively, choose quieter times when fewer people are around to notice your actions.

Blend In: Blend in with the crowd and use natural movements to drop the craps.

4. Enjoy the Reactions:

  • Observe from Afar:

    • Distance: Watch from a distance to see the joy and surprise on people’s faces when they find your fun shits.

    • Discretion: Be discreet and avoid making it obvious that you’re watching.

    • Satisfaction: Enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you’ve brightened someone’s day.

  • Stay Anonymous:

    • Mystery: Keep your identity a secret to maintain the mystery and magic of the experience.

    • No Traces: Avoid leaving any traces that could lead back to you.

Repeat: Continue your mission in different locations to spread joy all over town.

Additional Tips and Ideas:

  • Themes and Holidays:

    • Seasonal Shits: Use themed crap for holidays like Halloween, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day.

    • Special Occasions: Consider special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries to leave little shits with personalized messages.

  • Personal Touch:

    • Notes: Attach small notes with positive messages or quotes to the poop.

    • Stickers: Use fun stickers or decorations to make the poo even more special.

  • Community Involvement:

    • Local Events: Participate in local events or festivals to spread joy to a larger audience.

    • Collaborate: Collaborate with local businesses or organizations to leave chocolates in their establishments.

  • Safety and Hygiene:

    • Clean Hands: Always clean hands after handling poop to ensure hygiene.

Safe Locations: Choose safe and appropriate locations to leave the shits, avoiding places where they might be mistaken for something harmful.