Riot Club Guide: Bleachy Helicoptering
Gator Thunderstorm ~ 08/23/2024
In today’s fast-paced world, multitasking is a much needed skill. The value of accomplishing multiple tasks or goals in perfect unison in invaluable. Just because you are studying for your helicopter flight exam, does not mean it is okay to neglect your butthole. Here is a guide to all those trying to juggle the mastery of sky and whiteness of anus.
1. Cleanse the Area: Start by thoroughly cleansing the area with a gentle, non-irritating cleanser. This helps remove any dirt, bacteria, or sweat that could interfere with the bleaching process.
2. Study the FAA’s Practical Test Standards (PTS): Review all areas that will be evaluated during the check ride. This includes maneuvers, emergency procedures, and knowledge areas.
3. Patch Test: Before applying the product to the entire area, do a patch test on a small section of skin to check for any adverse reactions. Wait 24 hours to ensure there are no signs of irritation or allergic reactions.
4. Practice Flying Under Different Conditions: Make sure you get experience flying at night, in high-altitude conditions, and in adverse weather. This will help you be prepared for any scenario.
5. Apply the Bleaching Agent: Follow the instructions provided with your kit carefully. Apply a thin layer of the bleaching agent to the desired area, avoiding contact with the genitals or inside the rectum.
6. Know Your Aircraft: Familiarize yourself with the specific helicopter you’ll be flying. Understand its systems, limitations, and performance characteristics.
7. Wait for the Recommended Time: Allow the product to sit for the time specified in the instructions. This can vary depending on the product, so it’s important to follow the guidelines closely.
8. Rinse Off: After the recommended time has passed, gently rinse the area with lukewarm water to remove the product. Pat the area dry with a clean towel.
9. Oral Exam Preparation: Be ready to answer questions about flight planning, weather, and helicopter systems. Practice explaining your decisions and thought processes clearly.
10. Moisturize: Apply a gentle, fragrance-free moisturizer to the area to help soothe the skin and prevent dryness.
11. Stay Calm and Focused: During the test, stay calm and focused. Listen carefully to the examiner’s instructions and take your time to perform each maneuver accurately.
13. Repeat as Needed: Depending on the product and your desired results, you may need to repeat the process several times over a few weeks. Always follow the product’s guidelines for frequency of use.
14. Dress Comfortably: Wear long pants and a light jacket. Avoid loose items like hats, sunglasses, or jewelry that could be distracting or get in the way.
15. Monitor for Reactions: Keep an eye on the area for any signs of irritation or adverse reactions. If you notice any severe redness, swelling, or discomfort, discontinue use and consult a healthcare professional.
16. Get Plenty of Rest: Make sure you’re well-rested before the test. A clear mind will help you perform better and stay focused.
Well there you have it. See, you CAN have your cake and bleach it too.
