Gloriously Bad Behavior
Sam Sykes ~ 08/07/2024
In general, rioting and looting are just enormous displays of anger and stupidity, but in the spirit of our namesake (Riot Club), I thought I would highlight some of the more acceptable types of rioting. Really, the only cool riot is one that is rooted in fun and partying. Sports riots have always been condemned by the media and athletes, but only because it can be a bad look for the league if rioting is glorified… But I am not beholden to any league, so I can say what we are all thinking. Riots and looting from sports events, concerts, or natural disasters are kind of fun.
Ten Cent Beer Night
There may not be a better example of a classic sports riot than the infamous Cleveland Indians rampage of 1974. The team’s attendance was shit and they needed a marketing ploy to put asses in the seats. For one night only, beer prices went from 65 cents to 10 cents. Of course they filled the stadium and had a ton of drunk fans throwing things and fighting. The game had to be called off in the middle of the 9th inning as the Rangers players had to flee the potential violence. It’s the type of riot that almost makes the blue-collar Clevelanders of the 1970s endearing.
Super Bowl LII
As a Philly-based magazine we remember the Eagles winning Super Bowl 52 like it was yesterday. When the birds won, the city erupted, fans began tearing down greased-up traffic poles and flipping cars. Nothing would have been more fitting for the shithole of Pennsylvania. It’s the type of thing that makes the Eagles and other Philly teams such a hostile experience for visiting teams. Fans rioted after losing the Super Bowl last year, but nothing compares to their good ol’ celebratory storm. And for all the people that were angry about suburban fans coming in and destroying things while eating horse shit (yeah that happened), who cares? The city is garbage anyway, let it burn.
2015 Melbourne Darts Match
During an Aussie darts match (you know, like with the bullseye and shit), a group of men began getting very rowdy. It wasn’t long before things got out of hand, and some bogans began moshing in the middle of the crowd. It doesn’t seem like it ever really devolved into real violence, but I do love those working class Australians. The carnage really looked like a fun time, with everyone dressed up in fancy clothes and beating each other with plastic chairs. They turned one of the most boring sports in the world into a night to a scuffle with the cops and a night to remember.
Football (Soccer) Hooliganism
We take a leap across the pond to another type of mayhem we aren’t supposed to romanticize. I understand the dark parts of hooliganism and football brawling, but I cannot help but love the way it makes British nerds and lame fucking elites squirm. The type of high testosterone environment these men created scared the living shit out of posh pussies all over England. The yobs supporting their clubs brawl with rival teams' hooligans and fans. Despite the UK’s commitment to eradicating these tough guys since their heyday in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, some clubs have held firm in their commitment to wanton violence and mass mutual combat.
70s and 80s Hardcore
Hardcore punk bands were notorious for recreational violence, moshing, and police involvement. In cities like L.A., San Francisco, and D.C., these bands would attract much different crowds than a sporting event. Nonetheless, the results could be the same, young people getting a little too rambunctious and drunk, with the violence in the venues often pouring out into the street requiring police action. Like in Philly, these clashes often happened in shithole neighborhoods, so like I said before, let it burn.
Project X Delaware
About 10 years ago there was a frat house at the University of Delaware that devolved into a riot. Apparently some film crew was coming out to film a party on a monday night and it completely spiraled when the partygoers realized they had a chance of garnering some internet fame. Besides a few flipped cars, which seemed excessive, it looked super fun. People running through the streets, drinking beers and pissing all over everything. It was another one of those events that we are supposed to condemn, but would’ve killed to attend.
Hurricanes and Other Natural Disasters
In the interest of honesty, this whole list was created just so I could include an image of Lootie, the famous New Orleans looter from hurricane Katrina. It just makes me laugh every time. Many had a problem with him stealing Heinekens during a dangerous natural disaster, but I really don’t see the problem with it. If he hadn’t taken them, they would’ve just been washed away into the Gulf of Mexico. Now I guess this isn’t really a riot, per se, but the looting was off the charts. And why not? It’s not like they were stealing anything that wasn’t about to be destroyed. It doesn’t seem right to break into random private homes, but a Walmart or state liquor store… Have at it.
Of course riots are generally stupid and pedantic, but while the mainstream media attacks all forms of recreational violence, masculinity, and selective stupidity, Riot Club takes a different stance. We’re not afraid to say, “yeah, that looks fun”. Because it probably is.
