4 Ways To Make Boxing A Top-Tier Sport
Mike Leitao ~ 07/15/2024
This past weekend myself, Sam (our glorious editor-in-chief), and a couple of our friends went down to Philly for the boxing event, Ennis vs Avanesyan. It was a solid show with some good overall boxing all around, but the whole time we were there I just kept thinking to myself how we could make it so much better. So I decided that having watched less than 10 boxing matches in my life that I was the most qualified person for the job and thus created the greatest list of ways I could turn boxing into one of the biggest sporting events on planet earth.
Stipulation Matches:
Boxing is cool and all, but every event the matches are all the same, a classic one-on-one fight between two competitors fighting for the highest of honors. Yeah that’s fine if you want to be boring, but why not mix it up and throw in some stipulations. Give me some tag team boxing matches, imagine one guy getting battered in the corner but then he finally escapes and tags in his partner who comes in fresh and wailing on the opponent, the crowd would go crazy. Or imagine a 3-way or 4-way boxing match, just put 4 dudes in the ring and the last man standing wins it would be so exciting and unique. You could see guys teaming up to potentially target a certain opponent if they were a favorite or had an advantage it would make for a compelling watch. Lastly, we need some stipulations for one-on-one matches to add a little flare to the card. The stipulation that comes to mind instantly is no ring fights. Imagine two guys just boxing each other but throughout the entire arena. They start in the ring but eventually they end up on the floor, in the crowd, through the concourse area, hell, let them scrap in the bathroom for the fun of it. If you take this and add in the next pitch, you would be guaranteed a good time.
No More Decisions:
Out of the 4 major sports in the US, only one of them is possible to end in a tie still. There is a reason for that, people want to see winners, that’s what they are paying to come and watch. Likewise, only one sport in the US has the potential to go to the time limit, every other sport keeps going until one team wins. I think it’s about time boxing adapts that strategy, because going to decision has got to be one of the most boring things in professional sports. I fully understand there are fighters out there who prioritize stamina and keeping their chin clean as opposed to knockout power for the sole purpose of winning decision fights, and I respect that art. But as a fan, it’s so boring and no one wants to see that. The solution is a simple one I feel like, after 10 rounds we start sudden death where the two fighters keep going at it until one of them knocks out the other one. That way every fight ends with a knockout, and this would also help with unpredictably because once you hit that part of a fight all bets are off since it just takes one lucky strike to win. Conversely, if you didn’t want to go that barbaric, you could have a rule in place where if the time limit is hit it results in a draw, no decision in place. Although as a fan you might be disappointed, this would realistically motivate fighters to try and make sure they finish the fight since if they don’t they basically lose. Either way, both options would increase knockouts which would in turn increase enjoyment.
The No Weight Class Fight:
This one is simple, each card should have one match that is weight class free. I understand the purpose of the weight classes and how they provide structure to boxing as a whole, but this is an opportunity to have some fun. This fight doesn’t even need to be included on their real record, they can have a separate record for the no weight class division so that it doesn’t mess with their real record. Who wouldn’t love watching a heavyweight go out there versus a flyweight and just see what happens. Would the flyweights assumed stamina and quickness element be enough to offset the heavyweights power and chin advantage? It would create some really interesting fighting dynamics and would help people try and settle what is the best weight class of all. It would also allow for some people to probably make a name for themselves, imagine a featherweight participating in this division all the time and constantly taking on middleweights and heavyweights but beating them every time helping establish himself as a beast slayer and presumably a fan favorite. Also combined with the no decision rule from above so every one of these fights need to end in knockout and you are guaranteed some type of entertainment each time this type of fight happens.
Allow Weapons:
People love violence. They have always loved it and will most likely continue to always love it. So why not call back to our Roman friends of the Colosseum and add some weapons into the mix. The key is to keep the weaponry to a minimum and for weapon fights to be rare so that they are seen as special and it shows the two guys fighting really have a rivalry going. The weapons would obviously have to be melee but the real kicker is that we are just going to attach them to the gloves. You want to go for Wolverine’s claws or strap a saw blade on and pretend to be a buzzsaw by all means go for it.
The extra challenge though is that to apply the weapon, you must attach it to your gloves while wearing another pair of boxing gloves. The sheer stupidity of watching people try and glue or tape on sharp objects to their boxing gloves while they basically have no real movement ability with their hands would be wildly entertaining. But additionally (and more importantly), it would promote the weapon fight as a high risk, high reward option. You could just choose to not attach a weapon at all, or you could risk potentially stabbing yourself or running your gloves with the hope of being at a substantial advantage over your opponent with your knife hands. Is this idea incredibly stupid and would never happen? Undoubtedly. But if you were to ask me which I would rather watch, a boring weigh-in or guys with boxing gloves on trying to attach sharp weapons to another pair of boxing gloves, I know which one I would pick every time.
Now that you have had the opportunity to read how I would save the sport of boxing with my brilliant ideas, I feel it’s only right to really put it into action so people can truly understand how incredible it would be. Below will be two pretend boxing cards, I don’t know boxers and I’m too lazy to look up ones so I’m going to use made up names to construct the cards, and all I ask from you after reading them both is to really consider which one would you want to watch?
Card 1:
Billy Horseradish vs Montana Bagger
Chester Roofie vs Aaron Fryer
Walter Black vs Jerry White (Title Fight)
Flower Izzi vs Briana Castle (Title Fight)
Scott Brown vs Angelo Dickins (Title Fight)
Card 2:
Billy Horseradish & Tod Ketchup vs Montana Bagger & Aaron Fryer (Tag Team Match)
Chester Roofie (Flyweight) vs Daniel Danielson (Heavyweight)
Walter Brown vs Jerry White (Normal Title Fight)
Flower Izzi vs Briana Castle (No Ring Title Fight)
Scott Brown vs Angelo Dickins (Weapons Title Fight)
Conclusion:
I’m sure everyone will choose card 2 which is simple proof that this is the feature of boxing, less rules and more violence will lead to great things for the sport (and really bad things for the boxers themselves but who cares about them).
